when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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