We're like a lot better than the average bears
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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