So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
