Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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