Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
