i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Banned from zoo.
Again?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
