i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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