We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
