lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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