dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
