I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
