I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
