just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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