Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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