just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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