I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Someone stole a lamp last night.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
