There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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