What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Small penises have feelings too.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
my liver is dry heaving
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
