Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
