A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I need a beard to bite.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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