you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
