I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i think i just lost a toe
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
