can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
