Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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