it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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