This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
