I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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