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Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
