At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
