My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
