the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize