i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My liver just had a heart attack.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
