I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
