ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
then he tried to convert me to islam
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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