either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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