You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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