I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I CAN MOONWALK!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
