Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
