butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Is Oprah even human
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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