so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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