you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I need moral support for this bender
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You are a genius and a whore.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
