like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Randomize
