Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She needs sedatives and a leash
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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