me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You are a genius and a whore.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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