hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
