I don't remember. Are we still dating?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
