At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
