Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
