so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
