Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
