Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize