five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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