i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Please, let me fuck your mom
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
