Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
