So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
