Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
