so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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