Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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