Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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